Crushed

I think it’s ending. Not from a natural place of mutual agreement that goals have been met and both of us feel ready for termination. No, not that at all. Instead it’s because I am not capable of overcoming This. It keeps invading my process because I keep seeing him, as one would since he…

Little-me has a voice

My hand, my chest, my heartbeat. I can feel little-me, heart beating in relief. In gratitude. I feel warm. I feel held. She is held. I let her speak today. The words that get caught in my throat, the putrid words that flash behind my eyes and make me sick, they came out today. Those…

Done & Not Done

Last night I woke up from a nightmare that I'd had a mental breakdown. Worse than anything I've ever personally experienced. So trapped and scared and quite literally insane. I could see myself behaving completely irrationally and couldn't stop myself. It felt like my head was on fire and filled with cement. I woke feeling…