Support Team Love

I tried to help myself in these ways (SCOPE) in the last couple weeks. It's helpful for me to continually be reminded how much my nervous system runs the show. It makes it easier to come to terms with really feeling like I need a hug, stat, and not judging it too much. It is…

Body Says

Self care right now is curling up with my weighted blanket and letting myself grieve. Grief is so much bigger than me today. Sure, I wish I was doing this in my therapists office. It’s generally safer and having physical support is such a huge piece to my recovery. But I cannot hold on to…

I’m Trying, Little-Me

Get in the car. Get up, get in the car. Drive home. You’re fine. For fucks sake GET UP NOW! I’m sure I’m going to pass out or throw up and I don’t know which but I’ve already overstayed my welcome and I can’t move but I must move. Guilt and shame and self-hate—why are…

Needing Human Comfort

Sometimes I need an educated explanation for what I'm going through. Somatic experiencing helped with that. Every Tuesday for 6 weeks I was reassured (and learning more) about why my body does what it does in terms of trauma. The skills I learned in the class were helpful but not the selling point for me--I…

Good Grief

As a child if anger overwhelmed, I would squeeze my fingers into my hands to make the tightest of fists, harshly close my eyes, and tense all the muscles in my body until I'd start to shake. I would do that until I couldn't anymore. Often, I'd cry after. But I generally felt some release.…