Inside of Panic

In the center of disastrously high winds, debris taking flight, I am shaking. 98.2, 98.4, 98.5, 98.6, 98.7: body aches spread, but I don’t have a fever so it must be in my head. I just want my mom. I feel the worst I’ve felt. Because all the feelings are there. This is it: this…

Teen Feelings

Dear teen self, It’s ok to feel aching. Aggravated, belittled, resentful, wounded, tender, let down. It’s ok to feel unsettled. Depressed, anxious, dismal, angry, chaotic. It’s ok to feel inadequate. Disordered, trapped, frustrated, paralyzed. Dear teen self, I don’t know how to help you. I’m so irritated you exist sometimes. Your desperateness is appalling and…

Breaking

You have to feel all your feelings, they said. You have to let the waves come. You have to accept all of it, wave after wave after wave. Let all of it out. You're safe. But the tears came to my eyes, stinging nettles burning my face. Heat flash. Stop. Full fucking stop. I can't…

She/Me/Five

Months ago I met a girl she is intuitive -ly sad -ly grief-stricken She is unabashed -ly feeling -ly loving She is joyful -ly showing up -ly determined Months ago I met a girl Intuitively, unabashedly, joyfully extending her hand out to the rest of herself letting all her parts be and exist fully even…