This

Sometimes there is a place, a very dark place, where you feel like you cannot stop. No matter what, no matter how much fun you are having, no matter how sane you are feeling-- you cannot, will not, seems impossible, Stop.

Somewhere, It’s There

I guess I thought that once I figured out why, I wouldn't have any reason to have an eating disorder anymore. As it turns out, that is not at all the case. I keep forgetting--or resisting--that an eating disorder is a mental health issue and I have to treat it like that and not a phase or diet.…

Identities

Once I had an identity as a college runner.Once I had an identity as a head coach. Once I had an identity as a director in a sports-related career.All of these are gone, and I am lost.It feels like sitting in an empty pool. The surroundings are all the same color, it's purposeless without water filling…

Friday Night Is Like This

I want to cry until it is not possible for my body to produce any more tears. But I cannot cry at all. My eye sockets fill and the salty water sinks back into my dehydrated body. I feel like the biggest hot mess on the planet right now. I want to tell everyone what's…