June 3, 2021 2:48pm

Yesterday: a good day Today: literal and figurative glass shattered into a thousand pieces I cannot do it I can’t make it safe in the kitchen Or in life And I can’t do anything hard without glass pieces everywhere I need help or sleep or both Why is it beyond my capacity to have a…

Misfire

In the nightmare a black hole begins to swallow me but I am too big to be swallowed. The nightmare spits me out and I can’t wake up —I’m already awake trying to find something that is real. Everything makes so much sense until it doesn’t.

Hurting

The permanent pain that permeates my limbs and thrives in my skull: it drives me way way back —I am little and you are holding me because I am sick and then it is gone and I moving around in fog trying to find my way way back to your arms so mine can stop…

(Disgusting)

Your stomach is not getting bigger. (It’s growing bigger every day) You have to keep eating every meal (You are ruining your body) You don’t have to run when you’re this exhausted (You are so lazy) Your weight doesn’t matter (It matters so much) This nourished body lets you live life (At this rate of…

A Mother

In high school you deserted me in the passenger seat of the stick shift Ford Ranger. An empty lunch box and unbraided hair. You took the bathroom scale away but just down the hall, to your room. You left me crying and you left me a thousand times emotionally at the dinner table, in the…

Bottom Feeder

When you are guilty you are nothing. You are pond scum, pack rat trash, and spit out gum stuck on the bottom of a shoe. The sun cannot find you. You are storms and ear-piercing thunder that makes your whole body shake. You are broken shards of glass and blood everywhere. You are the worst…