Vacation

It's just food. In a sense it's easier to quiet the voice that says you aren't aloud to eat while on vacation. Routine-less and removed from my everyday environment, it's easier to fight it off. There is an end in close sight, I know I can try to briefly enjoy life now, and if I…

Stuck Points

  A thousand percent stuck. Writing will save me. It has always saved me. It will continue to safely corral my thoughts into something tangible I can begin to make sense of. I am stuck for a reason. Little pieces of my soul cry for the sad child who didn't feel secure. I am stuck…

Dear Sweet Girl,

You are so very loved. You will always be loved. The fervor in which you are loved is beyond your capacity; not for lack of intelligence but because it is so great. Know it is true. Dear sweet girl, your pain is real and valid. You will not be admonished for having a voice.  Use…

In Darkness Find Light

It's ok to not be ok. I am loved regardless of how fast I get through this. It is not a competition. It's ok to slow down. It's ok to cry so much you're not sure where those tears are even coming from--salt stinging your raw skin. It's ok to just hold on. There is…

A Desk and a Tree

That little girl feels scared. That little girl found refuge in every elementary school classroom. In third and fourth grade, I had the same teacher because it was a multi-age classroom. There was a rule in the classroom that anyone could go under her desk at any time if they felt they needed a place…

I’m Not Coming

A migraine. I didn't have a migraine, per say. I refused the casino lights, the loud music, the alcohol. Things a migraine can't handle. But I couldn't get out of bed, so please don't hate me. 2:10pm text: pleaseeeeee come 4:02pm text: do you think you'll come? 4:50pm text: I wish you'd come, we all…

My Prayers Dissipate

Dear God, Universe, Heavens, Someone In My World, I need to know, right now, I am going to get through this. 5:36am: please let this day be different. 10:45am: I don't have to go to the bathroom, I have to turn the faucet on to remember I am alive. 11:22am: "How are things going with you...?" This is…