9pm

Today: (Event) (Anger) Why are you angry? You shouldn't be angry over this, it's not a big deal. (Sadness) YOUR BODY IS SO GROSS! (Anxiety) I shouldn't have eaten so much today. I should have worked out more. Look at all this fat. I hate myself. (Depression)

4 Months Gone

"What's on your mind right now?" Tell her. "I don't know. Nothing." I say, as I fight tears back but they come anyway. "Nothing is happening? It's empty?" I have to tell her. Just say it. "No, it's just I...can't say it." "What if you write it down?" I am the worst. Why is this…

I felt so good for a second

Shame sits on the bookshelf between the Spanish dictionary I thought I would master in college before my confidence shattered the summer before my junior year, and Catcher in the Rye--I don't know if I belong here either, Holden. Ever-present shame repels any positive attributes that may exist. Shame pulls me away from what is…

Survival Mode

Read a day ago: "Your body never lies." Read an hour ago: "Silence is the most deadly threat to an eating disorder." Read a moment ago: "There is nothing wrong with you. Every part of you has an explanation." My body isn't lying, my silence isn't helping, my reasons are valid. I have to engage…