My then 4-year-old took this picture of me last year. I don’t remember this day because I just wanted life to end for months and months and this happened so often it was practically a constant way of being.
I don’t want my life to end but I feel the pain in this picture. I’m hurting in a much different way but with the same intensity. I just know what to do now. I know truths I didn’t believe before and I know who and where to lean in to when I’m paralyzed like this.
I can find compassion in my pain for myself. And, I still need loving human connection to get through this awfully painful grief.