I feel sad right now.

I guess it’s still pretty hard to sit alone with feeling sad.

I wish I was connecting with someone or a group of people who get it, but at almost 11pm at night that’s not really a thing and it’s not really a thing anyway.

And so the eating disorder thoughts start to flood and I wish I was twenty pounds thinner and I make plans to stop eating and workout with every free minute.

And yes, I know in the long run none of that is helpful. I know I’m wrapped in an eating disorder hug because there isn’t a different hug available right now. I know I might feel different in the morning, if I ever sleep.

And I know, every time I’ve ever slipped it has started with these thoughts in this way.


3 thoughts on “Dear diary

Leave a Reply to skinnyhobbit Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s