Filled With Guilt Day.
I feel lost.
My body feels chaotic.
I am a little girl and I need you to love me.
But I haven’t made you proud enough
and I can’t keep breaking
to come to you
and maybe nothing was as bad as my feelings try to tell me
and maybe you deserve a better daughter, like one who doesn’t lie about what she’s doing today out of guilt. Happy Father’s Day. I am not coming.
I don’t know if you deserve me: a shitty daughter.
I’m sorry I can’t stop crying.
You taught me to be tough and instead I keep breaking.
Maybe nothing is as bad as my body tries to tell me.
Maybe I am crazy for hurting; my body and my brain have made everything up.