Let me remember why I began this journey: to not waste another day caught up in an eating disorder stealing me from being present with my kids.
To not feel like I missed entire years of their lives.
They mean the world to me. I don’t want an eating disorder to take even little bits of my life.
I feel so sad that even though I was working so hard on recovery, recovery sort of consumed me and I still missed so much.
Of all the things I can be mad at right now, I’m angry at the eating disorder part of me. I wish she’d die completely off, already.
I can’t sleep. Even Ativan just took the edge off and what’s left is sadness and depression wanting air time.
I want my mom.
Mom, mom, mom…..