Fail: Do yoga every day of May

Fail: Do not lose temper with 3-year-old

Fail: Stop needing (so much) therapy/support before husband starts new job and childcare is too hard

Fail: Sleep without ativan

Fail: Stay off social media

Fail: Stop entertaining ED

Fail: Start entertaining ED

Fail: Stop caring about what your body looks like

Fail: Stop having panic attacks

Fail: Stop being consumed with things outside of your control

Pass: Suck at life

Sometimes it seems like everyone is looking at me from the outside and thinking wow, she’s got it all together. Because I do. I always have. Even when I’ve completely lost my ground, somehow I manage to keep everything running. Meanwhile, the chaos and crumbling of everything inside is rampant and I don’t feel like I’m doing well at all.

Or, adult-me is a well-run, determined, hard-working machine. Little-me is screaming, crying, and demanding to be heard, seen, and loved. Polar opposites vying to take up my present space, all the time. Which, honestly, feels like failing, because it’s so exhausting. Unpeaceful. Confusing or scary or anxiety-inducing, round-the-clock.

It feels like I am failing and I don’t have time to finish the extra credit.

4 thoughts on “Pass/Fail

      1. I actually laughed out loud at that! I know… trying hard to embrace the gray area myself. But, I don’t think it’s fair to say you’ve “failed” in all those areas wholesale. Just maybe it’s a little harder today, and tomorrow will be a little easier. Here’s hoping! 💞

        Liked by 1 person

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