My neck muscles feel like they’re being sliced open.

My insides hurt, physically, chemically, emotionally, all of me is hurting. It’s like the crescendo of pain has tackled me to the ground and provided ransom but no one knows how to pay. We’re all just watching the flailing.

I’m outside of some parts, trying to hold them tightly and offer all my compassion. Other parts I feel trapped inside, in terror, in need of someone else to hold me tightly.

My heart starts to break for little-me if I stay there too long, bringing so much grief I cannot let go of alone.

B r e a k i n g.