It’s difficult to find out who you really are is sad. Simply moving your body invites vulnerability out and all the fibers of your being are swimming in piles of grief or guilt.
You are sad but what you hoped for was joy.
It’s hard to discover your core is built with tears that want to escape when you thought this journey would land you squarely inside endless sunshine.
You are walking forward but your bottom lip trembles as your hands shake and your body searches for a safe human. Then, clings to that human as if letting go means death or a lifetime sentence of severe depression.
It’s hard to find out you are sad. It’s not just the little girl you, it’s all of you, often all-consuming, and admitting that is terrifying because it’s not allowed—you should not be this sad.
How do you move through a sadness with no start and end and that exists because it can? How do you tell your body it doesn’t have to constantly feel hurt; you don’t have to survive anymore?
Acceptance, grace, compassion, repeat.
—but that is incredibly hard. So, so hard. You’re allowed to let others hold you, hold space for you, while you keep trying to figure it out.