The first thing I did was check my phone to see if it was an acceptable time to be awake: 5:06am. The second thing I did was check in with myself: my chest feels unbearably heavy. The third thing I did was let tears come and go. The fourth thing I did was think, how can I feel this heavy, this pain-filled, and keep taking care of myself through the day (how can I keep eating? How can I possibly keep feeling this)?

Then, I made coffee and ate breakfast.