My 2-year-old took this picture of me this morning. Even if the angle is skewing reality a little, I am not growing by the second.

Last night I felt very trapped inside my eating disorder. At first inviting it in and feeling better because of it, and then feeling drastic amounts of guilt and shame, self-hatred filling up my system. Reality was gone. I could only see myself 3 times my actual size and couldn’t find any compassion for myself.

I needed to borrow someone else’s compassion and get a real hug — so the edges of my body could be found in real-time.

Today I’ll try just simply to not give up .

Baby steps.