You’re not allowed to get vacation blues before it’s even over!
This week was so good. I chose more often than not to nourish my body. I checked off a bucket list item. I am in my happy place; the mountains. My heart is filled with so much love. My faith has grown. My kids experienced some of my favorite things about being in the woods and seem to love it almost as much as I do.
Yesterday’s hike was beautiful and hard. I do not regret doing it at all. Today, though, despite my eating what felt like so freaking much, my body is utterly exhausted. I feel so tired I feel sick. This morning I kept going anyway, but now I want to give up.
If nourishing my body isn’t helping me feel better then I should stop because I’m going to gain so much weight at this rate. Why do I feel so heavy right now? I have to find a scale. I need to know how much I’ve already gained.
Depression’s favorite place is my tired body. Not even my happy place can outrun it.
I feel fulfilled AND love AND depression. Which is quite confusing for my brain to understand. How can they all exist at once when love is supposed to kill depression?