Why do I feel defensive, anxious, angry, and fearful every time my phone rings and “dad” shows up on the screen?

Because I had to defend myself every single day of my childhood.

How come I can only freeze when I feel anger?

Because anger wasn’t allowed without major consequences.

Why does anger simultaneously bring out so much fear?

Because I never believed I could actually defend myself.

I’m frozen, angry, defenseless, & sad.