My eating disorder does not define me, it is not who I am, it is only a way to cope.
I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with how much space eating disorder thoughts are taking up and consequently how many behaviors I’m letting play out, despite feeling angry at this terrible way to cope and desperately wanting it to be gone forever.
In terms of brain-space, it seems like I’m back at the very beginning. I know I am a different person than 2 years ago and so hopefully that means I’ll come out of this quicker than times before. Hopefully this will merely serve as a learning point but right now it just feels overwhelming and a bit like I’m drowning.
I am not my eating disorder.
a caring dog owner.
a loyal friend.
a lover of all things outdoors.
a runner, hiker, swimmer.
a meaningful conversation starter.
Things that bring me joy include:
watching my kids play.
connecting, a good glass of wine in hand.
hot coffee in a favorite mug.
the smell of creosote.
the first snow.
getting lost in the woods.
soft, cozy blankets.
sitting around a fire.
authentic Mexican food.
celebrations, surprises, & champaign.
solo 10-mile runs with new music.
oversize sweaters and leggings.
finding out something I wrote deeply affected someone.
holding my husband’s hand.
receiving handwritten notes.
a good book & quiet time to read it.
safe spaces with safe people.
And above all else, giving & receiving love.