A thunderstorm inside; protected by my exterior. Lightning strikes: beautiful and deadly. Like monsoon season, unpredictable yet a timeframe exists for when one might occur. I think even my support is uncertain, as am I. But now, as I have practiced before, I can lean in. I will choose to feed the good wolf, in all the moments where I can. And when I can’t, I will let help, help. I have learned that I am loved and when I can’t find that love within myself, I have to remember it still exists externally.
I am lost and finding my way.
I want to die and live.
Anger lives inside me and joy.
I want to give up and reach out.
I am terrified and healing.
My aunt just texted me this:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord, God is with you wherever you go! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏. You go, girl!!
And I think I will hold on to that for awhile.