A thunderstorm inside; protected by my exterior. Lightning strikes: beautiful and deadly. Like monsoon season, unpredictable yet a timeframe exists for when one might occur. I think even my support is uncertain, as am I. But now, as I have practiced before, I can lean in. I will choose to feed the good wolf, in all the moments where I can. And when I can’t, I will let help, help. I have learned that I am loved and when I can’t find that love within myself, I have to remember it still exists externally.

I am lost and finding my way.

I want to die and live.

Anger lives inside me and joy.

I want to give up and reach out.

I am terrified and healing.

***

My aunt just texted me this:

Joshua 1:9
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. For the Lord, God is with you wherever you go!
❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏. You go, girl!!

And I think I will hold on to that for awhile.

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