This kind of sad (the kind that feels like I’m trapped under a boulder) makes it so hard to get through the time between when I can be safe again.

I’m letting go of all the judgements coming in: you are so weak. You just saw her Tuesday morning. Get your shit together. Why can’t you use other skills? You’re embarrassing and needy. Toughen up. You are annoying. You aren’t even worth her time.

Letting them go. Goodbye judgements.

I am so sad, and I just want my safe space to be in. To be accepted as I am, to be loved, to let the 4-year-old in me be met with compassion and embrace. And that’s ok.

I am so sad and there isn’t anything wrong with wishing for safety.

Depression has taken over every cell in my body (thanks to that time of month) and it’s ok that I want or need (or both) help. It’s totally fucking ok! Even though depression tells me I’m not worth a second of anyone’s time, I still exist somewhere and I can reach out. I am strong enough to talk back even for a split second to reach out so my therapist can talk back for me.

It feels intolerable to be this sad. But I have a wolf pack that wants to help and it’s ok to be with them.

7 thoughts on “Time in-between Therapy

      1. I really think you might find it helps, I e been amazed at – whatever it is between sessions – difficulties vanishing overnight just because of an extra session now.

        I’d be really interested to know if it also works for you too!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. So I already go 2x/week. Sometimes I feel like I need to go everyday of the week. Sometimes 2x is fine. Most of the time I feel like I need a 3rd appt to make it through the week, and I have been better at reaching out and accepting offers of additional appointments. On those weeks where a 3rd appt is added, yes it absolutely helps. But, it doesn’t diminish my difficulty on the no-therapy days. I guess I’m in a very difficult season and just kind of need constant support. Luckily, texting is an accepted way to communicate and also get support—that is my lifesaver. Literally.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Sometimes it’s wonderful to see that someone else feels the same way. I often tell my therapist that I think I’m a waste of time for her but she always smiles and says she’ll give me all the time I ever need.

    Liked by 1 person

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