What makes you think I’m going to make it?
Clenched jaw, headache, utter exhaustion—things that make me wonder if I’m living.
Stomach acid burning, walking: distracting. Is this forward or backward or no-ward?
You’re on mile 25 of a marathon. No I’m on mile 99 of a
100 mile never-ending race.
I feel so close but so far. I have this odd-to-me urge to totally trust and totally lean in but it’s like my body is repelling a final push with every urge to do every terrible thing. What makes you think you deserve recovery? I can’t answer.
What makes me valuable? Can’t answer. Lovable? Can’t answer.