Today I want to say nevermind, life.

Today I feel like I’m in survival mode, fending off random tears because I don’t understand why I’m here, merely surviving.

Today I want to end and tomorrow I’m not certain I want to begin.

Today I am present enough to know I need connection but depressed enough not to reach out.

Today I am full. Of grief, of sadness, of depression. Of feeling like a fuck up. I can’t fit anything else in.

One thought on “April 16, 2020

  1. Sometimes the world doesn’t fit. Yep, totally get it. My therapist reminds me of just how connected I am. I also have to remind her that sometimes I do but lots of times I have to wear my “social suit”.
    When my doors and curtains are closed, I do feel a sense of security. But every now and than I feel a juxtaposition of reality. Maybe you do too? It kind of that’s maybe what you’re expressing? Perhaps it’s not as unique as I tend to think when I experience it.

    Liked by 1 person

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