No human is perfect.

You don’t even have a right to be angry, she was just looking out for you.

My therapist and my husband had communication outside of my knowledge, hours before I agreed to it, and even though it was brought out in the open fairly quickly, and the content was minimal, and there is basically nothing wrong with anything that happened, for some reason, I feel hurt and almost a bit betrayed. I don’t believe these feelings are valid but I’m having a hard time simply letting them go. Maybe that’s the eating disorder saying, this is the perfect crack to climb in.

Retreat! Retreat! Retreat! This isn’t good. You’ve shared too much. You’ve finally gone too far.

What did I expect when safety appears to be involved? Things born out of love or good intentions for the safety of another person are not things to be upset about, right?

Regret is sinking in so fast. I’ve been far too vulnerable this week.

I’ve endured multiple emotional marathons in the past 10 days. Maybe it’s time for a very big break. From all things and people recovery. I want to be alone. I wish I were invisible. I want all of this weight off of me.

I definitely can’t gain more weight. I don’t even know the number, but my body image has shifted so much my weight has to be up a lot. I’m too fat to be in therapy for an eating disorder.

I want to jump this ship and disappear.

2 thoughts on “Tiny Therapy Rupture

  1. I can understand feeling let down by a conversation being had before it was agreed with you first. I think I’d feel the same and I’m sorry it was experienced that way round. Was it just a clumsy mistake by people who value you more than that could have felt? I hope you get a chance to talk about it and repair it. I also understand when you speak of having made yourself too vulnerable; that always makes me want to run and hide for a bit too. I found it more helpful to act against how I was feeling and bring it into therapy and look at it there instead though, but of course you might not feel inclined to do that. I hope the feeling abates soon for you 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  2. We’ve already talked about it, l fully understand the (good) intentions behind it and even think that I would have had trouble not doing the same thing, if it were reversed. I guess the parts of me that are fearful of progress are trying to hold onto this like it’s my way out. Acting opposite would certainly be the best option. Ugh. Thank you for your response!

    Liked by 1 person

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