“Let it hurt then let it go”- r.H. Sin
I don’t feel ready to let anything go. In fact, I feel like my grip is getting tighter and recovery-me is too tired to do anything other than show up. Showing up, in and of itself, is an act opposite though, so I’m still making some sort of minuscule progress despite feeling pretty stuck in the two giant steps backward I took a couple weeks ago. I still haven’t been able to admit everything that happened in that week because I’m not ready to let go.
I don’t think I’m ever going to stop this seemingly constant flow of tears.
I feel overwhelmed with pain that I can’t even name. When does it end (my brain believes never, and that is terrifying)?