Me: I am so exhausted. All of this extreme anxiety and sleep deprivation is taking a toll on me. I don’t need to run today.

ED: You can’t stop at 19 miles. Besides not being enough, you just can’t stop at 19. You have to get to at least 20. Or 25. You are so weak.

Me: I feel like I’m inching toward an actual mental breakdown, whatever that means (something debilitating, or something much worse than I’ve yet to experience).

ED: You are going to gain weight if you don’t run. GO RUN NOW.

Me: But I’m so so tired. I really don’t have the energy.

ED: Running will give you energy. It’s for your health. For your mental clarity.

Me: I think I need to fight for something else right now. Literally just rest. I need to fight for rest. Because I’m going to lose it if I become any more exhausted.

ED: But 19 is not a number you can stop on.

Me: Nothing bad will happen if I stop at 19. Nothing.

ED: Fine don’t run, but you can’t eat.

Me: I’ll maybe fight that later.

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