I suddenly want to take back all of my vulnerability over the last couple days, weeks, months. I don’t want anyone to know anything. I want to be in my own world and not have anyone checking in. I don’t want anyone to care.

I am way too fat for all that.

I don’t know what I’m doing.

Everything in me right now is saying SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN. ABORT THIS MISSION ASAP! Stop opening your mouth. Stop being vulnerable. Stop crying. Stop eating so much. Stop, stop, stop.

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