I watched the first 2 episodes of this “Therapy & Theology” series last week and it really inspired me to really dig deep and (try to) be more open. I actually sat down last Thursday in session and actively tried to keep my arms open as opposed to crossed and gripping the opposite arm the entire time. Baby steps.
Maybe this will help someone else:
My dietitian said a couple weeks ago, “As long as you’re still curious, you’re not stuck.” I didn’t fully comprehend what that meant right away. But then, as these things seem to happen, I kept seeing the word “curious” in relation to psychology or recovery and I started to understand what she was saying. I have to be curious to keep going. When emotions come up, I can try to understand what’s going on for me instead of ignoring what is going on (ignore curiosity).
When all of this started, I didn’t really believe I was “hurting.” I’m actually cringing still, as I type that because I’m embarrassed to discover that I am, in fact, hurting. I think the hurt is so big and so deep that all I’ve really been able to do up until this point is just discover that it exists and not much more. It’s scary to open that up and dig around. I can’t even verbalize what’s in there, exactly, I just know I’m a little bit terrified, but I’m really determined to keep my arms open.