Maybe I need a therapist. But lately I can’t shake the feeling that if I could just talk about eating disorder stuff to a friend I would feel so much better. There isn’t anything going on other than whenever I get anxious the “I’m fat, I need to lose weight” thoughts flood in and it’s hurricane-level thoughts that leave me thinking about ED stuff for days or weeks.
The problem is I don’t have anyone I feel comfortable going to with this information and seeing a therapist is fiscally out of the question right now.
So the thoughts sit and enter my dreams and I wake up crying.
I’m physically fine. Losing weight is really triggering. I know I should stop weighing myself but I’m addicted and have zero willpower. But I’m fine. I’m totally fine. It’s just because I’m running a lot.
I’m mentally an anxious basket case and just need a friend.