I think I’m going to die. My husband is going to come into the living room and find me on the couch, no longer breathing. 

A panic attack.

My heart skipped a beat and all the blood in my head rushed out. My face got hot and the heat spread to my neck, shoulders, and chest. What is happening? I’m going to pass out. All of this started and stopped probably within 2 minutes. My heart keeps pounding but the aura of death is gone. Am I totally crazy? Am I having a stroke? I smile to check for face drooping and raise my arms. Not having a stroke. Probably just crazy. 

I was just checking e-mails for work. I was relaxed, calm, and motivated, on the couch in my own living room. It’s perplexing to feel relaxed, but your body decides otherwise. I hate this completely out of control feeling. I can’t kick it because I’m so afraid it’s going to happen again. What if it’s not just a panic attack!? So now I have this massive anxiety feeling in my chest that’s so annoying.

It’s completely terrifying and at the same time, completely ridiculous. I didn’t tell anyone because I don’t know why it happened and it feels irrational…but it was so, so real.

yggnyq

One thought on “A Slow 180 Seconds

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s