…But you’re not a big lunch eater.

A close friend said this to me the other day. I am basically two people. Myself, and myself with disordered eating. I hate that even my closest friends and family cannot fully know me because I am constantly letting disordered eating seep into everyday life.

The real me…

HAS to eat breakfast. And lunch. And dinner. I am one of those people who gets insanely cranky when I’m hungry.

Is not picky about what I eat.

Is open to trying new things.

Hates keeping track of calories.

Loves running.

Loves pizza and ice cream.

Could live in a bikini 24/7.

Is easy going.

Constantly seeks adventure.

Enjoys conversation involving emotion.

The eating disordered me…

Skips meals, and eats spinach for lunch.

Uses hunger as a way to feel accomplished.

Is obsessed with counting calories, fat grams, and the scale.

Is the most picky eater under the pretense of health.

Uses running to purge.

Can’t stand to wear anything exposing my stomach, thighs, or upper arms.

Has an unsafe food list a mile long.

Needs control over everything.

Is afraid to leave my comfort zone.

Can’t verbally express emotion.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s