I lied and said I did not expect to lose a lot of weight. I do expect and hope that I will lose a lot of weight in the next month on this vegan diet. I had collard greens and gluwein for dinner.

On my way to (or from?) work, I processed that maybe this is all because it is my way of trying not to feel any emotion while husband is away. Because my heart isn’t burning like it did when he deployed. I’m ignoring it, really. And it’s not that it is that big of a deal, for him to be gone for 3 weeks. But I do know that I love him so much, that I MUST be missing him. But instead of allowing myself to feel that, I have decided to focus my energy into losing weight.

It’s not like I made this decision right when he left though. Or did I? All I know is that I am happily obsessed with this diet, for now, and I don’t have to miss anyone or be sad, or frustrated, or stressed.