Dear Sir or Madam:
It is my interest to join your professional team, along with the hundreds of other employers I sent a very similar cover letter too. I can start working for you yesterday. Recently, I graduated from college; something my parents and teachers told me would be useful in finding employment. I have many classes under my belt which increase the breadth of knowledge I may contribute to your organization, but at this point in the cover letter, I realize you have quite possibly already stopped reading. I shall continue anyway.
I am an intelligent, dedicated and passionate professional who will surely contribute to your team. I completed an insane internship on the grounds that it would most definitely help me out in my future career endeavors. I learned a great deal, and honed valuable skills. Currently, I am a volunteer intern; that’s right, I graduated and took an unpaid position because people like yourself refuse to give me a damn chance. I learn quickly so even though I do not know how to operate your precious custom software programs, I can fucking learn them, what a novel idea! I realize I am a young, twenty-something, female with little work experience. Therefore, I fully understand that you will not call me for an interview and I do not need to include my contact information.
Thank you for the 2-3 seconds you took barely scanning this. I really fucking appreciate it.