Time to re-evaluate and set some goals. I find I function better with constant goals and objectives in place. First of all, I am in a position this semester to get straight A’s. Pending four papers, two tests, and three finals I will have a 4.0 GPA this semester. Now, I can do that. Really there is no reason why I end the semester without having received 5 A’s. Enough of this senioritis bullshit. I barely have to work harder than I am now to secure the A’s. (Who came up with “senioritis” anyway, it makes no sense, ‘itis’ being an inflammation of something…)

Secondly, I had a good first workout last Thursday. I can totally run and compete on my own. I am getting hungry for some competition. I spent all day yesterday at the home track meet and wished sorely I was racing the 5,000 with those girls. Although I must admit that I enjoyed being the 3rd-turn coach (self-appointed). I got a lot of thanks when the meet was over saying what I was saying was actually helping them out–versus the regular “good job” most people tend to cheer. Anyway, this rekindled my desire to be a coach which I have sort of lost in all this future planning I have been doing lately.

I still want to break the 20-minute barrier sometime before I hit forty-five and can’t run fast anymore.

What’s funny about me moving here to CO, and now moving back to AZ in 6 weeks is that while I like both places, I really do love Arizona. Actually, I don’t know if it can be considered moving back, I don’t really have a place to move to currently, I am sort of just staying there for awhile, before I stay in Vermont, and then who knows after that. Rather, my stuff is moving back to AZ so it has a place to be while I try to figure everything out and get a job somewhere in the world. I am excited to be in AZ though. I thought being in CO during the summer would be cool purely because I could run without having to get up at 5am. But truthfully, that is one of my favorite things about running in the summer…running so early or so late because it is so damn hot. Everyone else thinks your crazy, bu they haven’t experienced 4:45am on an Arizona morning. It is so so beautiful.

Besides, self-accomplishment is one of the best feelings. And boy do I like proving things to myself.

This theory has been brought to my attention: (and yes, many people before him have mentioned the idea of this, but never presented in such a manner that would make me want to accept the theory) It is possible that my body does not function optimally at 110 (ish) pounds. Although, this weight MIGHT be optimal for racing, it could be that the reason I see improvement in running is due to this, and that the sickness that usually follows is also due to the low(er) weight. Maybe my body functions much better at say, 120. Also, if eating correctly, my body will find it’s weight on it’s own without me worrying about it. So maybe, optimally, for everything, I am supposed to naturally be 118. Well because I haven’t been running because I’ve been sick (until 2-3 weeks ago) because theoretically my body was reacting to me being at too low of a weight for ME.

It seems unfair that some people naturally function at a low weight, and that maybe I don’t. So I hate that theory. My initial reaction is to reject it. But I think that is something I would tell someone else. It’s just so confusing when you have coaches telling you to lose, lose, lose. And fellow runners eating carrots at lunch and running so fast. Girls in the locker room saying they’ve lost yet another pound. And then you’ve got people saying, you’re not healthy weighing that little. Friends saying you don’t look any different and even other coaches saying, hey your body will find it’s own weight.

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