Everything irrational is in this entry. Fuck rational bull shit. Stuff isn’t real anyway, if you can’t see it for yourself.

I am so overweight. I weigh over 120 pounds. I cannot believe I have come to this weight. I can’t believe I look like this. I can’t believe how much all of this has creeped back in so quickly and how much weight I have gained in such a short time. I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW. Really truly. I hate how people don’t understand. WOW I really hate that. I hate that I can’t talk about this without feeling like I am crazy. What is not to understand? I am fucking OVERweight. I weigh TOO much. I NEED to lose weight. I have gained ten pounds. I look hideous. All I want to do is cry. Ten pounds is noticeable. People are fucking liars. My stomach is fucking huge. My hip bones are practically gone. What, I am not insane!

I am wishing so bad to not feel like this. Why did I gain so much weight, why do I care so deeply about it. What am I avoiding……fuck all that I just fucking gained weight and I am doing what any normal person who cares in the least what they look like would do…

Seriously, it is NOT THAT HARD. It’s a fucking math equation. Eat less, exercise more, lose weight. It’s not hard. I just need to start kicking my own butt. I CAN do that, I have done that before, I know HOW to do it, I just need to fucking do it, damnitt. So stop this ridiculous pity party and SHAPE UP NOW.

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