Everyone believes in me for the exception of myself. Every season, they tell me. Today at practice, John tells me, “you can run with those girls. Just take your last 800 today and the last one on Thursday. You have it in you, you have the skills.”
E would tell me all throughout my sophomore year of high school that she knew I could run faster than the #6 girl.
M would remind me almost daily my first two years of college that I had so much potential and put in so much more work I could break 20 if I wanted to.
C would tell me it’s all in my head.
K would tell me under his breath that I was not racing as fast as I practiced…and I should be up there.
My dad, oh my dad. Would get frustrated because he believed I was not performing anywhere near what I am capable of.
B once wrote me a note where she claimed she couldn’t wait for the day when I believed as much as she and the rest of the world did what a great runner I am.
And I would tell myself every negative thing in the books.
I want to believe it too, I want my dedication to pay off too! I wanted to believe it so bad today, I think I did believe it for a portion of the practice.
Every time someone gives me a compliment, my reaction to myself is they are lying. Maybe I could try telling myself to accept the things they say and believe what they tell me.
The world does not lie.