I should have known it was a bad sign when I could not find the room my biochemistry lab was to take place in. Luckily, I was twenty minutes early and I was only lost for fifteen of those minutes. Two hours later we were excused from class and I was almost positive I was never going back.

Science is just not my thing. I predict I would have struggled to get a C in that class. So, I changed my major. Yup. No more kinesiology and therefore no more chemistry, biology, math, or physics. Ever again. My major is Human services with an emphasis in public health. I even have enough credits already toward the degree that I could graduate a semester early if I wanted to, or pick up a minor without overloading myself.

First division I meet tomorrow. This is how I am going to look at it: whatever happens, happens. I am going try my best. There is absolutely no use in stressing out so much about these things. It is certainly not fun.

I still weigh about 113.

I’m trying to convince myself I’m happy.

I wish I was one of those people who believed everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences, only miracles. One of those permanently enlightened people.

Why did J take his life? Why did Vince and Leslie pass away in the car accident. Why didn’t they wear seat belts? Why did my dad’s father die at 40, and when he was only 12?

Tomorrow night I am going to run because I want to be free. I want to be free on the open, empty golf course. I want to run for all the people that cannot run, but wish they could. Or wanted to.

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