Dear Eating disorder,
I hate you. I can’t stand you. You are a rotten, sorry excuse.
I have come to a point in my life where I need to let you go. This relationship has never been healthy and started for all the wrong reasons. I fell in love with you when I was barely thirteen, and I certainly did not know what I was getting myself into. I saw you on television. I saw you in magazines. I saw you on the internet. And then, suddenly all I could think about…was you. You robbed me of so many things in the past seven years, I can’t even recall all of them. While I put on a pretty spectacular show most of the time, I know I hurt others in the process. The ones that saw past the facade. I absolutely do not want to hurt anymore people or damage anymore relationships, including myself. I don’t want to be perfect like you told me I had to be. That is not the type of person I want to be, rigid and constantly fretting about something. So, it is time for you to go. It is time for me to move on. I know I am going to miss you sometimes, but I will find ways to deal with it. I also know, that your presence may not ever diminish completely. But I am going to choose to live a better life. I am going to choose to live a life that makes me happy. You make me miserable, all the time. Even when I lose weight I still feel miserable because IT IS NEVER ENOUGH. I know I can live without you. I have lasted about two weeks without purging, and the last week has been tough, but I fucking did it. I choose to enjoy life. Goodbye, purging. Goodbye obsessing. Goodbye eating disorder. Goodbye.