So I (very unplanned) went to dinner with AJ. I ate rice and beans and chips and salsa.

I am not going to throw it up.

It was a lot of complex carbs but I am going to deal with it. Even though I feel really full especially since I drank a lot of water, I am going to let it digest, I will be fine, I don’t need to purge. Purging will help nothing. nothing nothing nothing!! I feel full because I drank so much water, not because I ate too much. I am fine. I am strong, I am, I swear. If I am strong enough to constantly berate myself, I am strong enough to be my own motivator in a healthy way. I can prove to myself that I can do this.

Tomorrow I will eat a lot of vegetables. Drink a lot of water, and eat some fruit. Coffee is ok too. If i get really hungry cereal is ok. That is the plan for tomorrow.

Emily you are fine!!!