I want to be skinny. I will be happy when I am thin. When I weigh less.

I’ve forgotten things. And, I know where I can go to remember but I if I can’t do it on my own what’s the point? I know it’s in the orange folder. I know it’s in past entries I’ve written. Logical answers are somewhere, I don’t want to find them. I want to think about calories. I want to focus all of my attention on losing weight.

I want to forget everything.

I feel sort of lost.

I don’t love him anymore. Not like I used to. It’s gone and it’s my fault but it’s the truth.

They don’t understand that sixtoeightweeks is a long time to not be running.

That is all.

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