I went 42.5 hours without eating anything. However, I did consume calories through liquids. Coffee (with skim milk), SoBe, propel water, vitamin water.

Around hour 41, I was driving back from Doctors (which I am now going to get an MRI on Friday…)  and stopped at a stoplight about to make a left-hand turn onto a surface street from a freeway exit. I was the first car. It turned green and I couldn’t remember if I could go or not. Panicked for a few seconds and then turned………….

So I decided I needed food when I got home (I don’t know how I got home?). But I don’t have any (hardly) Because I still haven’t gone grocery shopping. So I walked to subway. I can think again…ha.

I had this sense of accomplishment when I lasted that long though. Even though I was still consuming calories, I was thinking, Hey I can do this. And when I was hungry, I thought I am losing weight. Yesterday at work I had one of those taste-memories. I was drinking diet pepsi and I could feel the emptiness in my stomach; which immediately made me feel like I was 13,14,15 again. I immediately thought of how I would be home from school, sitting at the computer–usually counting calories or something similar and drinking diet pepsi. That was weird. I remembered the first time I was able to skip dinner and went on to consume nothing but water for 36 hours. I remembered stepping on the scale and that feeling of euphoria when I lost a pound or two.

I want that again. I don’t want to be so depressed and disconnected from everyone. Eating makes me depressed.

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