Yes, I Need to get my act together. There is no more bullshit. I am transferring to a freakin Division I university. On a partial scholarship. I HAVE TO RUN FASTER.
1) I cannot run faster if I am puking my guts up
2) I cannot run faster if I do not eat enough
3) I cannot run faster if I am mental mess
4) I WILL RUN FASTER.
This absolutely MUST stop NOW. I can’t mess around like this any longer. I am going to eat right. I am going to keep it all down. I am going to get my head on fucking straight. I am going to put every ounce of energy I have into practice. EVERY PRACTICE. I am going to begin practices with a positive attitude. I CAN DO IT. I can run as fast as everyone else. We are humans. No one is better (or worse) than me.
I’m running steeple chase on Thursday for the first time. And this weekend in Cali I ran a 5k. It was a good effort. I KNOW I didn’t run as fast as I can. 21:26. It didn’t hurt at all. I just don’t have any fire.
My motivation: I have to run a low 20 5k before I go up to school in August, because ALL the varsity girls run 20:30 or better.
DAMNITT I CAN DO IT. I CAN I CAN I CAN. I WILL WILL I WILL.